Nighttime dreams

I am a human being that loves family time. I care deeply and I remember it well when we were all together as one large family and celebrating each others birthdays or christmas for example. The older I get now, the more I look at the pictures and a sudden feeling of nostalgia hits me.

I was one year old. Okay, not even one year. I was 11 months actually. My oldest cousin holds me in the camera as I smile. Besides him is his girlfriend and all my other cousins. More than ten people make that picture gorgeous. I turn the picture around and it says “Christmas 2001”. Obviously I can’t recall it but I remember the celebrations in later years. It was always the 26th of December and the location was a tiny apartment with three rooms. The apartment of my late grandma. Everyone of my family would come. We ate cake and coffee while we celebrated christmas. We would play card games as us teenagers found it pretty dull to be at the table of our parents. We would do it until the evening would arrive and then we would leave. It was such a joy to come together as a family. A whole family. I didn’t have that privilege on the other side for example. So it made me appreciate it much more.

As the years went on our family sadly faded away and everyone now has their own family. Most of them seperated themselves aware or unaware from the core. Back then we were meeting each other a couple times throughout the year. Eating together formally at a restaurant or just casually at a coffee shop. Now most of them don’t care anymore. Everyone thinks about themselves. The only time I have contact with my cousins is when I tell them Happy Birthday. I understand them too don’t get me wrong. Their surroundings changed and they have different priorities now. When my grandma’s health worsened she stopped hosting it anymore. I would love if it would change one day and we would celebrate as a whole family again altough those dreams will most certainly stay in my imaginations.