Nighttime dreams

Sometimes I get reminded when I always get along better with women than with men. May it be a talk or even having fun. It just hits different. One word that always floats around my mind is Empathy. The majority of Men have probably never heard of it. I suppose.

Growing up I was always feeling vulnerable. About stuttering of course. It would frighten me and many times I was sadly correct. It made me even more vulnerable but throughout my life I went to many therapists. All of them were women but one and they all got so many things of me that I could never get off my chest. They treated me with respect and they showed a lot of empathy towards me. They knew me well and I felt always at home at their place. That would preset my life and my thoughts about this topic.

When I was still in school there was one girl is my class. Me and her would become good friends and especially since we were also living the neighborhood we would spend a good amount of time after school. We would have so much fun playing outside and various games on the Wii at her place. It was absolutely as chill as it can be. When I grew older life tore our friendship apart and I haven’t seen her for many years now. One day I went through my old school documents and my main teacher used to always write my parents letter about how I behaved, how I acted and how I was doing in school. She would write to my parents: “Manuel would always find a safe space around her and they seem to have much fun.” I was a bit blown away by her observation but it totally was the truth. She really was a big help in my childhood and I will always thank her for that.

From my family I have many aunts, uncles as well as cousins and I can say that with no exceptions I get along with my aunts and female cousins much better than with any male cousins or my uncles. I know every single one of them pretty well and I feel that it is a typical reflection that women are way more empathetic than men. Especially my oldest cousin. She is so selfless and humble. The way she speaks and acts is so amazing and human. There is not an ounce of arrogance or superficiality. It is love and empathy. I appreciate and value her so much. Much more than she actually realizes. Since she doesn’t live in this country, we always write each other letters. Really old school and nostalgic. The men in my family are more superficial and dull in comparision. They talk about the same things and that makes it quite boring. It doesn’t surprise me anymore. Of course that doesn’t make as a person boring. I like all of my family members, some more and some less, but I just see that as a huge difference. Maybe the empathy part is important for one kind of people but not that kind for other people. I am sure men are generally not really interested in a thing like Empathy. Our generation though I believe is more leaning towards understanding and being empathetic regardless of your gender for example. That is why our generation is groundbreaking.

I always felt way more safe in an enviroment where I can be myself and Empathy is definitely a big part of me feeling better and feeling understood. If I think about the important people in my life today and who the people are that I interact with usually then it would be about 90% women.